Why Appeasing Feminism Is A No-Win Scenario

Actor Ryan Gosling won a Golden Globe the other night and offered up an acceptance speech that has been called “Notebook-esque” by his fans.  In it, he gave a heartfelt thanks to his girlfriend and partner, actress Eva Mendes, for taking care of the kids while he worked on this project.

Photo from Flickr, by Elen Nivrae
Photo from Flickr, by Elen Nivrae

Unfortunately, despite his efforts to show his appreciation for his wife, he’s still finding himself labeled a sexist.

She wasn’t just making sure his dinner was cooked by the time he came home, no, she was “raising our daughter, pregnant with our second and trying to help her brother fight his battle with cancer”. Despite the swooning on social media for his Notebook-esque outpouring, I can’t help but feel that Eva Mendes, an award-winning actor in her own right, took one for the team and provided the emotional labour needed for Gosling to further his own career.

Gosling’s appreciation for his partner, may be genuine but it plays into structural inequality women face in the workplace, least of all Hollywood. Yes, Mendes has agency, and the decision to put her career on the back burner for the sake of her husband’s was hers, but why did she have to make that decision to begin with?


Gosling’s speech runs uncomfortably close to the old adage “behind every great man is a great woman”. No, she’s not behind you: she’s standing right next to you, and maybe you should tell the audience next time that you’ll be home to help out more.

Oh, for crying out loud.  This is beyond pathetic.

Acting isn’t like other professions.  An acting job isn’t a career in and of itself.  Instead, it’s basically a temp job.  For a handful of weeks, actors delve deep into their parts and, at the end of it, they go home for weeks on end.

Yes, Ryan Gosling left Mendes at home with the kid while pregnant, but that’s the nature of the job.

Further, due to being pregnant, Mendes was probably not able to work herself.  No, not because pregnant women aren’t marketable or anything like that, but because there are only a handful of roles written where the character is pregnant and when shooting a movie, it goes over a long enough time period where the changes become obvious.  In short, the director doesn’t have any control over the pregnancy, so they don’t cast pregnant women as a general thing.

So, Ryan went to work and Eva held down the fort.

Since both are actors, it seems reasonable to assume that there’s a bit of back and forth on who goes to work.  After all, the two of them have been together for five years now, but Mendes was working fairly steadily until 2014.

Unfortunately, none of that matters.  It doesn’t matter if it has been Eva’s decision to stay at home with the kids either.  Take this non-sequiter from the article:

This isn’t a trend consigned to the entertainment industry. According to data from the Pew Research Centre, the number of stay-at-home mothers in the USA has been steadily rising for the past 15 years.

Yes, the number of stay-at-home mothers has been rising, and this is despite a strong media push telling them they’re wrong for doing so.  Additionally, they live in a world where they don’t actually have to do any such thing but instead are clearly making the choice to stay at home.  Why is that?

Women have agency to many feminists…as long as they make decisions these feminists approve of.  Being a stay-at-home mom or demanding your partner stay put rather than advance his career, even if you can’t actually advance your own at the moment?  That’s just not acceptable.

Either women have agency to make their own decisions, or they don’t.  They’re either able to think for themselves, or they’re not.  Why is it such an issue if they make different decisions?

Ryan Gosling showed his appreciation for his partner by making it damn clear that he couldn’t have done it without her.  Based on this response, he’d have been better off acting like Eva Mendes had no role in his winning anything.  You tell me, which is worse?


‘The Future Is Female’? Beta Males And Real Men, A Contrast

Following the election of Donald Trump, half of the country seems to have lost its ever-loving mind.  I get illegal immigrants freaking out since he’s made it clear he wants them out of the country, and I can understand some Muslims also being concerned, but a large number of people who are in neither category are acting like “the end is nigh.”

Co-workers of one such individual decided to make the woman feel better about life in general, so they came up with this:


Photo from Bedford and Bowery, by Claudia Matos
Photo from Bedford and Bowery, by Claudia Matos

Wow.  The woman, Monica Singh, was thrilled.

The men of the world cringed, however. Continue reading “‘The Future Is Female’? Beta Males And Real Men, A Contrast”

Masculinity and the 2016 Election

My “day job” is to write politics, so you can imagine I’ve been pretty busy for the last couple of days.  When I wasn’t writing, I was reading and watching politics to get a firm grasp on just what happened.

Photo courtesy of Iowa Public Radio Images
Photo courtesy of Iowa Public Radio Images

While much of the so-called “manosphere” was probably ecstatic about a Donald Trump win, I have to admit that I didn’t vote for him.  No, I didn’t vote for Clinton either.  I voted for Gary Johnson, who despite doing everything he could to the contrary, was the least offensive candidate on the ticket for me.

However, Donald Trump did win, and he won rather convincingly via the electoral college.  Yes, a lot of people are all butthurt over that fact, but I’m not one.  I’ve been enjoying a fair helping of schadenfreud.

Yet, there is a discussion to be had over just what this election meant for masculinity. Continue reading “Masculinity and the 2016 Election”

Why Are Feminists So Hostile Toward Physical Strength?

Yesterday, after writing a pretty long fisk of the Huffington Post story, something about it stuck in my craw.  Something that the subject of the piece, Mike Reynolds, said that really bugged me.  Well, bugged me more than the bulk of what he said, at least.

“We do science projects together, we make up bedtime stories about giants who play hopscotch, and we talk our bodies, how they are changing, and about anything they’d like to ask me,” he said, adding, “I think this is a relationship a lot of dads have with their daughters but they’re told they should be protecting their daughters with their physical strength instead of building trusting relationships with them.”

[Emphasis added]

Photo by Julian Kim
Photo by Julian Kim

As I pointed out yesterday, the two aren’t mutually exclusive.  I tell my daughter bedtime stories and do homework together, but I also believe in protecting her as well.

Reynolds also has a t-shirt design that says “Strength has no gender.”

Honestly, he’s pretty preoccupied by the idea of strength not being essential to being a man.  He’s far from alone on that.  Most feminists, especially male feminists, seem to bash the idea of strength defining men, and honestly?  It makes no sense. Continue reading “Why Are Feminists So Hostile Toward Physical Strength?”

Fisking Dad Who Misunderstands Masculinity In Huffington Post

I get that not everyone understands masculinity.  I really do.  The media has bombarded us with this image of how traditional masculinity is oh-so-wrong and they’ve offered nothing to counterbalance it.  They’ve never shown any positive that could be attributed to traditional masculinity at all.

It’s easy to see why someone can be confused.

Take Mike Reynolds, a blogger at Huffington Post and now a t-shirt designer.  He’s offered up a line of t-shirts that ever FIM should line up and snag, but actual men will probably pass on.

Along the way, he offers his insights into masculinity, and they’re hilarious, so I decided to fisk the crap out of them.

The Huffington Post piece will be in bold and italics, while my comments won’t be. Continue reading “Fisking Dad Who Misunderstands Masculinity In Huffington Post”

Gender Roles and the Oversimplification Of Them By Feminism

From time to time, I encounter a lot of images with supposedly pithy quotes.  Oddly enough, while many aren’t really accurate to what the individual “quoted” supposedly said, all are enlightening.  They show us a glimpse into the mind of the person sharing the quote in the first place.

Also from time to time, I see some that cause me to roll my eyes in annoyance, kind of like this one:


This, of course, serves to remind folks that women can do anything and claiming otherwise makes you a hateful misogynist despite any arguments you make.

The irony here is that, on just the surface, this argument isn’t wholly incorrect.  Traditional gender roles aren’t “biologically locked,” and were constructed by early societies until they became the tradition.

However, it is also a gross oversimplification of what happened back in the day. Continue reading “Gender Roles and the Oversimplification Of Them By Feminism”

Why Do Feminists Seem So Preoccupied By Masculinity?

Have you ever heard the term “toxic masculinity” used?  I have.  More than once, actually.  It’s usually used to describe traditionally masculine virtues since feminists and FIMs see such virtues as heralds of the anti-christ or something.

15106273965_4f3bdf242a_hWell, it appears that American colleges and universities are actively trying to stomp out these virtues.

Universities across the nation are taking steps to actively purge male students of what’s been labeled “toxic masculinity.”

Examples abound of campuses hosting training sessions, group meetings, lectures and other programs to effectively cleanse what many campus leaders and left-leaning scholars contend is an unhealthy masculinity in young men today.

On campus, toxic masculinity is often blamed for sexual violence, body shaming, a “hyper-masculinized sporting culture,” acts of domestic terrorism and much more.

Wow, if this is what masculinity is busy doing, you’d think we’d hardly find time to oppress women.  Who says men can’t multitask? Continue reading “Why Do Feminists Seem So Preoccupied By Masculinity?”